Life Lessons With LK
Some of the ideas/concepts/philosophies I share with my students
As a young educator, I was strict. Harsh. Exacting. My students probably didn’t have fun but they were very diligent and improved while remaining in line. Poor students. They were stuck with a serious dance teacher unwilling to play. And obviously, four year olds NEED to play.
The evolution of my teaching career is remarkable in the sense that I began teaching merely to pay the bills while I began my dance career. Eventually, my mentality shifted and I began wishing more for the students than simply the best class I could possibly give them. Seeking for ways to progress their learning properly by helping to build their confidence, mental flexibility, and mental fortitude, I went to grad school. Now, my students know me as a calming presence.
When I teach, I aim to set students up for success in life. I attempt to do this with cute, clever phrases, analogies, and wisdoms I’ve stumbled across throughout my teaching career and in life at large. Imparting life's subtleties in a quiet manner. Although sometimes quite overtly. If you missed these from your own dance teacher or missed out on dance altogether, I may be bias but I do advise checking out a class sometime. While you search for one near you, here are a few notable reasons for taking that risk to walk into a studio and learn more about what your body and mind can do.
ONE: LET GO (of the barre)
I see white knuckles and ask dancers to take a deep breath. Death grips on the barre, a handrail attached to the wall that dancers hold onto for warmup exercises, signifies tension. When a dancer shows tension most likely their muscles are moving stiffly or unable to move at all. However, dancers do still need tension to stay lifted and finding the appropriate muscle groups to hold your structure strongly while arms and head float on top is a very difficult delicate balance to discover.
Reminding students the barre will eventually become their dance partner helps. Sometimes. And creating combinations that force the dancers to move around at the barre helps even more. Are the students disgruntled at this? Who cares?! I think it's more fun and they need to learn to support their own weight. A barre is guidance. Not a crutch.
Last year, I kid you not, my students pirouetted (full rotation on one leg) at barre with T-Rex arms and I laughed so hard that I joked they “loved the barre theees much” demonstrating my own version of T-Rex arms. They never forgot it and lifted those elbows properly henceforth. Learning not to grasp too hard to something that feels solid is a difficult lesson for your body and your inner critic. Life at a ballet barre teaches us that impermanence is a permanent construct. When do we firm our grasp slightly and when do we merely slide our hand forward to adjust along with our body weight?
We’re not allowed to sink our ribs or hips towards the sturdy, reliable structure that we think is holding us up simply because one of our hands lays on top of it. Instead, we build muscles for the ability to move in any direction we choose and train the mind to anticipate any action. AND we do it to music. Smoothly. Gracefully. The only way to allow your body the chance to figure that out though, is to frickin’ LET. GO. (Please do not queue Elsa here, eek.)
TWO: Be Flexible. Be Strong. Be Everything.
Now, you can queue music! Kanye’s Stronger to be precise. Wellll, maybe having older brothers is responsible for this line of reasoning. Hard to say whether it’s a nature or nurture cause and effect but both worked in tandem to eradicate the word “can’t” from my personal dictionary.
Dance builds mental flexibility alongside physical flexibility. It’s why I’m such a huge advocate for everyone gaining access to dance classes. Not only do you have to extend legs and arms further than you feel possible to do so, you have to work the opposite side of your body as much as your dominant one. I scaffold combinations over time, generally three to four weeks, culminating in requesting dancers to work out how to perform combinations backwards or reversed. I always threaten upside down too. Someday I’m going to make good on that for ballet class. Teeheehee
In addition, you have to use strength to hold and support your flexibility. Meaning you have to work towards balance between the two and keep one from overpowering the other. Too much flexibility = appearing too sloppy, slow, or behind the music. Too much strength = the quality of your movement being too sharp, awkward, intense. Of course, there are roles that require more of one than the other. Learning to tweak the amount of each for a character or specific movements is what makes dance fun. And helps us to become problem solvers, willing to confront any situation or learn anything new.
This specific transferrable skill enables students to work in any position at any phase of their life. For example, I pick up new jobs like I learn choreography. See the potential there? Of course, dancers also know that skills are earned over time and an open-minded approach is necessary.
THREE: “Practice Makes Permanent”
Commitment. Endurance. Reliability. Consistency. These are built over time. Dancers learn that showing up matters. Pointe work will not happen over night or within one week or even over a year. Learning to be patient with yourself is very difficult. Yet, if you aren’t patient with yourself to work towards getting the skill right, then your body let’s the incorrect set in. As stated in every rehearsal everywhere, “You perform how you practice.” Then, when it doesn’t happen how you want it, please remember that there is always tomorrow to try again.
fOur: Grace is more than poise, it’s a mindset
There comes a moment in any sport or discipline, when the temptation to cheat yourself of the hard work becomes stronger than French roast coffee. It’s always when the coach/teacher/mentor isn’t looking but expects a difficult skill, movement, or concept to be conquered. For you to give more than you feel is humanly possible. Let me remind you…NO CHEATING. I promise you that your future self really will appreciate your efforts. When I notice a student slack when it gets hard, I repeat this mantra, “Put the work in now. Your future self will thank you.”
So when it gets hard, dig in. Think about how good it will feel when you perform this hard step flawlessly. Know that you are growing each time. Holding within you the capacity for steady growth, to take in constructive feedback as fuel for improvement, to become a more precise and stronger you. THAT is worth celebrating.
FIVE: You have to go down to go up to go down
Similar to and adding on to the building block of letting go, leaps and jumps are customary in dance class. In fact, it’s what every single exercise has been a warm up for. Here we are FINALLY taking off and launching ourselves into the air. How lucky are we as dancers to experience this? Everyone else simply dreams it as the superpower they want to inherit. So why hold back now?
BUT. There’s a rhythm to it. I call it a bit of syncopation—a plié at the proper slightly late musical note—a deeper bend gives you a higher lift. When my sweet Holly girl was aging, I began carrying her upstairs. To do so safely, I would plié deeply and scoop her from underneath securely tucking in her legs as I lifted her to my chest. Then, I would flit off to teach classes and describe this motion as the precise way to utilize pliés for pas de chats, saut de chats, and all the major leaps in ballet.
The dynamics of this motion, so eloquently stated in my bullet point, are words by one of the directors from my own professional classes stated verbatim. It’s true. And oddly deeply wise. In life, our highest achievements are often directly after our lowest of experiences. Don’t fear flying and also don’t fear getting down deep to get up there.
All of these concepts are timely for me to review in my own life as I work this new job. Starting over is hard. Mentally, physically, financially, emotionally. Remembering these concepts eases it a bit. Sigh. Oh, how I wish someone would rescue me by offering better. Awkward giggle. One can hope and dream, huh? I know, I know. No one is coming to save me. I understand the necessity to put my head down and work to create my “better” opportunity. Writing these life lessons outlines my path forward. Hopefully, it does for you too. What are some of your greatest or most favorite life lessons?